Networking, The Art of Working a Room

My last blog post defined networking, listed the benefits for those who participate, and identified those who would profit from it.  By networking, I am referring to a group of like-minded individuals who get together in person to build relationships in hopes of near and long-term benefits.  Even the social butterfly is not necessarily an effective networker.  Effective networking involves mapping out a strategy and having a plan for executing your strategy.

It is 7:45 a.m. on any given Thursday at White’s United Methodist in Southlake Texas.  The Southlake Focus Group begins its weekly networking meeting for unemployed professionals in the Dallas/Fort Worth at 8:00 a.m.  Over 300 hundred out of work professionals gather to exchange business cards, solicit company contacts, provide support and training, and practice the art of selling your most valuable commodity … yourself.  My success on any given Thursday was contingent upon defining my purpose for attending and planning how to achieve my goal.

The real networking begins before the planned events and takes place right after they finish.  Have a plan before your get there.  Know who is in the audience and how you will introduce yourself.  Extend your hand first.  When I was young, I was hesitant to approach people and extend my hand first.  I felt important when someone sought me out and introduced him or herself to me.  Most people feel the same way.  It also allows you to set the initial tone of the conversation.

Dress right, travel light.  Know where you’re going and dress appropriately.  I try to dress just ever so slightly above expectations.  I don’t really want my dress to be a topic of conversation if my name is brought up when I am not around.  One tactful yet unique piece of clothing, like a smart tie for a man or an unusual necklace for a woman can separate you from the crowd.

Carrying a laptop with you guarantees you will have to shift weight, adjust yourself or make some other motion that distracts from the introduction and gives the impression that you need a crutch in social situations or are somehow uncomfortable.  I remember one occasion where a smartly dressed woman’s laptop surged forward and met my hand before she could.  She deftly down played the miscues but it still left an impression.

Choose your attitude.  Who is more likely to capture your attention?  Of course, the confident woman with a smile on her face radiating positive energy turns your head while the young man with his back to the crowd doesn’t warrant a first glance.  Even if you are not naturally outgoing, you attract others when you project confidence.  The old adage, fake it until you make it, works here. 

Ask open-ended thought-provoking questions.  I can’t recall how many times I have been at a networking event and met someone who immediately launches into his or her 20-second elevator speech and asks me if I know someone who works in this or that industry.  I am immediately put off by such overbearing or desperate behavior.  Be a human being first, asking the other person how you can help?  Show you are personable and know how to have a conversation before you sell yourself and your business.  If you listen twice as much as you speak and show others you care and are willing to help them in their business, they are much more likely to take an interest in you and your business.

Seek out those who are not engaged.  It is more difficult to break into a group discussion and chances of meaningful networking decrease with the size of the group.  I find the individual standing alone make for much more effective networking.  Those standing alone are usually grateful that you sought them out and are more likely to remember you and your business.

Be prepared for group discussions and have a plan for navigating them.  A one-on-one conversation can suddenly turn into a group of 4 to 8 and the ability to keep them productive is truly an art.  The pitfall of larger groups is they tend towards small talk and the next thing you know 30 minutes have elapsed without constructive networking.  Steer group conversation towards brand and value promotion.  Remember groups are more attuned towards emotion than personal disclosure.  An amusing story or an insight fact that is relevant to the group promotes you and your brand without getting into the specifics.  Be mindful of creating a natural opening in the conversation where others can chime in reinforcing your emotional message with their own story.

Exchange business cards towards the end of the conversation rather than the beginning.  It may seem like common sense but some people have an unconscious need to overwhelm and dominate others.  Ask for the other person’s business card before offering your own and he or she will usually ask for yours.  Before you tuck the card away, take a moment to read it.  You may find the other person works in a building you are familiar with, providing you with another topic on which you may extend the conversation. 

If possible, seek out the group’s moderator and guest speakers before the event is scheduled to begin.  Arrive 30 to 45 minutes early.  The group’s organizer and honored guest are usually mobbed at the conclusion of the event but many times are unencumbered before the event begins.  You are likely to have more time for networking with these individuals before the event and your chances of being remembered much higher.  The V.I.P’s usually have more established networks and contacts than the average person in the crowd has. 

Networking doesn’t end when you leave the event.  You just collected 15 business cards and had four substantive conversations while at the event.  When I get home, I write pertinent information about the individuals I just met on the back of their business card.  I look for reasons that I might call, e-mail or text the individuals I just met.  If you are in contact within 72 hours of having met someone, you substantially increase you chances of making a lasting impression.  I ask people if they use the business-networking site LinkedIn and if they would mind if I sent them an invitation to connect.  Almost everyone I meet says yes.

Most of us are not natural networkers.  It requires us to step out of our comfort zone and reveal details of our life to a complete stranger.  If you follow the suggestions in this post and apply them as often as possible, your effectiveness as a networker will surely increase.

Why Networking is for Almost Everyone

Networking is now a buzzword that is applied in multiple contexts.   Networking is the connecting of two or more computers together.  Social networking is becoming defined as the gathering of social networks or relations on the web.  Networking is also an integral part of selling goods or services through a multi-level marketing apparatus.  By networking, I am referring to a group of like-minded individuals who get together in person to build relationships in hopes of near and long-term benefits.

In the minds of many, networking is a social activity for entrepreneurs and those looking to sell their goods or services to those small business owners.  They meet to swap business cards, exchange ideas and promote in general, their businesses.   Networking is also, what the corporate types do at conventions, quarterly or yearly company meetings, and at various industry expos. 

Guess what; networking can be a vital and essential activity for those who do not fall within the above definition of a networker.  My first experience with networking was right after college with networking marketing.  I was in transition and I felt as if I could make some money and spend my free time a constructive activity.  It did not take me long to realized I was a selling soap in a multi-level marketing organization.  It was possible to make money but I was not into making vague promises of wealth and freedom to get prospective distributors to attend a meeting and see a presentation of the plan only to find out after the fact we wanted you to sell soap.  Something about the method of luring people in seemed disingenuous and I fell out of the group in less than a year.

So what is the broad definition of networking?   Networking is actively engaging others in any social situation with purpose and intention.  It may be in an informal gathering of like-minded individual at a sporting event, musical concert, or house of worship.  Maybe your child is active in sports, scouting or other special interest activity.  Networking is also striking up a conversation with the person in front of you in the grocery line, mall or other commercial interest.

Networking is not for everybody.  If you have any interest, personal or professional, service, product or idea and you are looking to meet other people with the same interest networking is for you.  Are you active with a charitable organization and you want to promote their good works, why not try casual networking?  Networking is promoting your interests by taking an interest in others. 

My positive networking experience grew out of unemployment.  I was laid off in July 2009 in an economy that resulted in a contraction in my industry.  I had not established a network of individuals in this market and found myself looking at no job prospects and very few industry connections in the Dallas-Fort Worth market.  In short, I had to build a network from scratch.

It started slow.  My early attempts at networking were awkward.  I felt like staying at home behind the safety of my computer.  As I ventured out and began to meet people in the same situation as me, I learned the Dallas-Fort Worth market has dozens of networking groups for unemployed individuals.  Some of the groups have hundreds of active members and over a thousand total members counting alumni.  Over time I found many individuals who not only helped me with contacts in my job search but also gave me good ideas for effective networking.

What is key to networking to effective networking?  You need to have a purpose for being there and be able to explain to others what you are looking for.  You need to have a 15 – 30 second message and a 2-minute message when given the opportunity to expand on your initial statement.  What do you do and how can that person help up?  This applies to any interest whether it is an unemployed individual looking for work, a business owner looking for future clients, or a supporter of a charitable woman’s organization spreading the message.

In my experience I found that networking works best when you have the interests of the other person ahead of your own.  Almost everyone knows when he or she is being sold.  You might get your sale or make your point but the chances of leaving with a negative impression are high.  If you want others to take an interest in you take an interest in others first.   If you jump right into your purpose after the hello’s, the next time you bump into that person, they are more likely to be aloof and preoccupied looking for a way to bail on the conversation at the first opportunity.

Networking is not for everyone.  If you have an interest, cause or business and would like to expand the number of people with whom you can share your passion, than networking is for you.  In my next post, I will share some of the lessons I have learned about effective networking.